those high stabs are just a tiny bit much, but other than that, it was really cool.

you have strong potential as a vocalist, but you'll need to hone a melody down and have it, like, memorized, to really shine.

You should relearn these lyrics, and like, practice doing it the same way a few more times and then do a REAL take. I would like to hear it.

I like the changes. It's not terribly ambitious but it makes my head bob and it sounds groovy as hell.